I’ve posted on this blog quite a lot about the conflicting emotions that come with knowing that Lauriel and I aren’t going to have a baby together. It’s something I find I have made peace with about 90% of the time, but there is still that 10% of the time where I feel anything but peace-ish.
We recently celebrated Emersyn’s 5th birthday (note to self: do a general update post!) and amongst the partygoers was a teeny, tiny, utterly adorable, perfectly perfect 3 week old bubba girl, Lillian. As you can probably guess, holding that teeny, tiny, utterly adorable, perfectly perfect baby in my arms triggered the not-so-at-peace emotions I feel with regard to Lauriel and I not having our own kiddo together. Watching my wifey holding the baby my uterus literally ached, and then when I finally had a cuddle I went into that automatic gentle-swaying-side-to-side, whispering-soothing-words type of zone it’s impossible not to enter into after you’ve had a baby of your own.
For a while there my brain toyed with the idea of suggesting perhaps we should have a baby. The sight of Lauriel snuggling with a baby was one I could have gotten very used to, very quickly… the sight of the kids holding the baby and looking at her with awe was also one I could’ve gotten used to quickly. Lillian, her mummy, daddy, brother and sister all left and so did the idea of suggesting we talk seriously about whether or not we should take the baby plunge ourselves.
But the sadness didn’t leave. That feeling of… not being empty (I am anything but!) but being… well, um… just knowing, I guess, that in an ideal world we could have all of that ourselves, but that realistically that ship has sailed. It’s that stupid head over heart thing.
Now I’m off on a philosophical tangent. Ever so sorry!
Anyway! Fast forward to about three days later…
We went to the SPCA and adopted a kitty cat!
Introducing: Mr Bo
Yeap, we have ourselves a furbaby! His name is Mr Bo (Mr Bojangles if you are addressing him formally) an he is the cutest, funniest, cuddliest, friendliest, most patient cat I have ever met! He’s wonderful with the kids and from the very start has enjoyed playing with them during the day and cuddling up with one of them for the night. Mr Bo settled in very quickly and I think he’s just as happy to be here as we are to have him here.
We may not have a baby together, but we now have a kitty cat together and in honesty, I think it’s just what I needed to fill that void-that-wasn’t-a-void-but-I-can’t-think-of-a-suitable-word-for-it. It’s kind of like having a human baby together; we snuggle with him, we bond while smooching with him in bed… then there is the occasional poo to clean up, he demands food and gets under our feet. But we wouldn’t be without him!
Is it odd of me to say that with the addition of Mr Bo, I feel as if our little family is complete?
Pretty kitty loves his Aunty Ali
Emma Knits 