Impromptu roadtrip #2!

We can’t resist a chance to get up close and personal with this gorgeous mountain!

Lauriel’s friend is here from France and today we decided……

Hey!  Why not go to New Plymouth!

So that is what we are doing!  In our defense, the weather IS beautiful today and tomorrow is meant to be crap – there is no point going to New Plymouth and not being able to see the stunning Mt. Taranaki!  New Plymouth has always been special to Lauriel and I, as a couple, so we never turn down a chance to go for the day.

Before you ask, yes, all four kiddos are coming with… it is the school holidays in NZ right now, and we wanted to do something nice with our crew before Aidan and Eloise head off with their dad on Friday.

Know what?  It was me – little miss travel anxiety – that suggested we go!  I didn’t even think ‘noooo, we might crash and die!‘, I just out and suggested a roadtrip.  Not only is it a roadtrip, it is also a roadtrip where I am in the passenger seat.  That generally equals double the anxiety for me; not because I don’t trust my fabulous wife driving, but because I have this intense need to be in control of the vehicle I am in.

Maybe, just maybe, I am finally taking control of this anxiety thing.  It’s a lovely feeling.

I am sure I’ll be back later with photos from our day in the ‘Naki!

Unlike our first trip to New Plymouth, I do not plan on spending hours in the ER with a sprained ankle…

 

Yay for that 99%!

Back from the doctor and as 99% expected, she is pretty sure the lump isn’t anything serious.  It is on the ‘non-boob’ side of the armpit and is most likely a blocked duct or hair follicle which will hopefully go away with antibiotic cream.  If it doesn’t go away with the cream it will likely turn into an abcess, I am most certainly hoping for the ‘go away’ outcome.

Now I can stop worrying and make the most of what is going to be an awesome week, with my sister and niece arriving on Wednesday!  I  haven’t seen them for almost two years and cannot explain how excited I am about seeing them!

Yay for good updates!

So, I found a lump.

For over 18 months I experienced horrendous anxiety, mainly focused on my health.  I had myself convinced I had cancer.  First it was liver cancer, then it was cervical cancer, then it was stomach cancer, then I was back to liver cancer – and on it went.

Then I began seeing my psychologist and after a few months that specific aspect of my anxiety went away.  It has probably been about a year now since I last thought “oh god, my ____ hurts, I must have cancer!“.  I have been very proud of myself and you have no idea how much lighter I feel without that constant (irrational!) fear bogging me down each day.

And then on Saturday I found a lump.  An actual lump that is really there.  It’s in my armpit.

Initially I had the familiar sensation of adrenalin coursing through my body as my brain yelled out ‘you have cancer!  you actually have cancer!’, and tears quickly followed.

Then I remembered that it was only last week I had routine blood tests done that included a complete blood count, and considering I hadn’t heard from the doctor 10 days later, I took this as a good sign.  Surely if something was wrong, my white blood cells would have been through the roof.  (Right???)

I also remembered that for the past few days before that my neck felt a little sore on and off, like it does when I am getting a virus or infection… it has happened since I was a kid.

I am 99% sure that little lump is nothing.  Or that it’s nothing serious, at least.  There are moments in the day that I am hit by that 1% of doubt though, and that nasty adrenalin rushes through me, leaving me feeling a bit panicked.

If this had happened a year ago I would have been a blithering mess all bloody weekend, and I have to say I am quite proud of myself for only being mildly worried.

Needless to say I am going to the doctor this morning to get it checked out.  Hopefully I get the (eventual) result I expect – it is nothing.  But in the case it is something, at least I’ll have caught it early, which is a good thing… and more to the point, if it is something, I’ll get through it – my wife will give me no choice but to!

I needed to blog this to get the words out, which is really the whole purpose of this blog.  If you took the time to read, thank you!

(now I better go and get dressed…)